The best way to the female orgasm by Lianne Young.

Sure, we all love the big “O”. But the reality is that expectation often exceeds delivery. In fact, it’s a little like coffee, & a lot like opera – the experience often falls way short of the promise!

Seriously, the reality is that a lot of women don’t reach orgasm every time they have sex. To the contrary, some never have. I myself didn’t have an orgasm until I was 24 – and even then I hyperventilated and nearly passed out – but that’s a story for another day!

And hey, don’t worry. For women at least, the entire mystery of pleasure lies in the intensity of the pulsation just before the orgasm anyway. So, it’s all in the love-making really, not in the orgasm itself. Not all sex sessions need to end with orgasm. Sometimes, great sex is just that – great sex.

Having said that, popular theory is that the orgasm is the main game – even the only game – in town. So, for those pre-occupied with helping your partner reach orgasm, here are some great tips to ensure you come out on top in the bedroom.

The ears

I just love having my ears kissed, licked, sucked and nibbled. It arouses me so much that I nearly orgasm from that alone!

The ear is such a sensitive area. Try softly nibbling and sucking it lightly, then running your tongue just around the edges until you softly lick down her neck. Piercings make it all the more sensitive.

The neck

There are so many light touch receptors in the neck that it will drive her crazy. It’s so easy to follow on from the ear as you work down from one sensitive area to another.

The area just below the hairline on the back of the neck is just incredible. So, send her crazy with gentle kisses and the slight feel of your breath.

You can also rub it and even add a light nibble as you work your way around to the front of her neck before you find yourself at – yes, her mouth.

The mouth

Soft kisses to start with are the key to emotional bonding.

One of my all time favourite partners and I used to talk about our first kiss. We still do, in fact. It just meant so much to us. We took it from there and used just kissed for hours. It was wonderful. It was our first connection – and that connection has just stayed with us for some reason.

Honestly, you underestimate the importance of kissing at your peril.

So far as technique is concerned, try slowly sucking on her top lip whilst softly running your tongue over the rest of her lips delicately.

As the arousal builds, let her feel the edge of your teeth against them, and even a slight nibble of the lip is a good idea. Every woman likes a man who knows he can use his mouth – let alone his tongue!

The breasts

Start by slowly kissing or licking around her areola (the area around the nipples).

If you have worked your way down from her mouth, they will already be hard and will not need much teasing. But be sure to spend plenty of effort in this area.

Go from licking the areola to gently licking or biting the nipple. You can also squeeze or rub them as you lick and kiss gently around the rest of her breast.

Oh, and whatever you do, don’t forget to lick and kiss under the breast just on her rib cage – a massive arousal area.

The ribs and stomach

The rib area is so sensitive. Just follow their outline with your tongue and gentle kisses. Trust me, this will drive her wild.

Then follow it around to the side of the abdomen. Expect her to giggle or even laugh, as it is ticklish – if she does, you’re doing it just right. If not, you’re being too hard.

Oh, and this is a perfect time to look up at her face and establish eye contact – that way you maintain the all important connection and she knows you have her best interests at heart!

The groin

Don’t go straight to the vagina. Instead, try licking slowly down the sides of her pubic bone. This will prepare her vagina for stimulation.

By now, she will probably be soaking wet and encouraging you to enter her, or even pushing your head down to force you to lick her clit!

Hold that thought! You could just gently touch her clit or vagina area with your fingers just as a tease instead.

The vagina

You will have already introduced yourself to her outer labia (visible vagina lips) with your fingers and tongue.

Not all women will orgasm through penetrative sex. So, you need to really get to know the inner and outer areas.

The outer lips are sensitive, and respond best to light touch, stroking and gentle vibration.

The inside prefers pressure and motion, which in turn releases the hormone prolactin that promotes a sense of sexual satisfaction.

Try inserting on or two fingers (by now well lubricated), then slowly enter them while stimulating her clitoris with your tongue.

The clitoris

This amazing area is the most sensitive of her body. It boasts thousands of nerve endings. So, go slowly.

Gently – and I mean gently – tap it to get the blood flowing to the area. Then gently lick down the sides of her vagina.

You can also use your finger in small circular movements over and around her clit.

Whatever you do, don’t think of this process as reading a road map. Instead, just explore with your fingers and tongue, and you will be surprised what you might find!

The perineum

Not all women enjoy anal play.

I must say, however, the area between the vagina and the anus is so amazingly sensitive.

Its called the perineum is one of the most erogenous parts of the body. It’s even possible to reach orgasm from it being stimulated.

If she wants – and if the area is clean – it can be really hot to gently lick around the anus opening. The nerves in this area share a wall with the g-spot. However, never move back and forth between the anus and the vagina as this can carry bacteria that cause infection.

Oh, and don’t forget the feet – with a twist!

We are all so pre-occupied with the traditional erogenous zones, particularly the genital areas. But don’t forget the feet – so often out of sight and out of mind.

I simply adore having my toes sucked – particularly when my partner lifts my leg and gently kiss each toe, slowly sucking between each one.

Oh, and for an added boost, it’s just wonderful if they enter you while sucking your toes – OMG, I’m not sure how much more I can take of thinking about this. Enjoy!!!


Women, the male orgasmic areas will follow shortly…