Trust me, I’ve been to a lot of sex parties, and they are no place for the faint of heart. For starters, you will be invited to have sex with people you don’t know.

Which reminds me of the words of Laura Kightlinger to the effect that she “had a rule at these events, and that was to never look at somebody’s face while having sex; because, number one, what if she knew the guy”!

Sex parties are becoming increasingly fashionable these days. You only have to google “sex party” and you’re almost certain to find one in your area.

Adult Works provides detailed information about where sex parties are held, what type of people attend, and what are the rules.

Fever and Killing Kittens has brought the sex party to the mainstream media. This has in turn made them far more socially acceptable. They really are VIP events these days. They are usually held in plush surroundings such as beautiful English country manor houses; they are attended by the hoi-polloi; and they feature the very best champagne and canapes to set people up before the action begins.

I have attended many very high-end sex parties all over the world.

My first was in Los Angeles in the early 2000s and was called “After Midnight”. Guests were invited after applying on-line. Everyone was aged over 18. We had to leave our cars in a private car park, where a limousine would ferry us to a secret location where the party was to be held.

At the time I was working as an adult performer with some of the top names in the business. They had encouraged me to join the party and had assured me I would be fine. Nevertheless, I was very nervous, and really had no idea what to expect. All I was told was the dress code – cocktail dress and heels, with no exceptions.

I was overwhelmed by the limo; let alone by the massive house and property in the Hollywood hills where the party was held. The $150 entry fee was well worth the price.

I remained nervous throughout most of the night, and I abstained from participating. However, I had an absolute blast in my new-found role as an observer – especially as the party list included some of the most attractive men and women I had ever seen, dressed sumptuously in glamorous cocktail dresses and tuxedos whilst sipping champagne. I recall being somewhat surprised there were no masks being worn, as I had imagined after watching the movie Eyes Wide Shut.

After about an hour of socialising, a bell rang and there was immediate silence. Our host took centre stage to welcome everyone and explain the rules of the evening, including – condoms are provided in every room; don’t touch anyone without being invited; which sections of the house can be used; and what each section caters for – fetish, lesbian, gay or straight etc… couples only.

It was clear the rules would be very strictly enforced. It was also clear that the party was very professionally managed – there were cleaners working continuously throughout the night, and health and hygiene were clearly top priorities.

Finally, our host declared the sex party open.

Almost immediately, guests started to partner up and move to their preferred section of the house.

Each room was furnished decadently with insanely massive beds, silk sheets, fresh flowers and candles; all of which was accentuated by dim lighting.

At this point I decided to explore. In the first room I visited there were 3 couples entangled on a bed. They were all naked and had perfect bodies. They were all kissing passionately – which I found surprising for some reason. I was impressed by the fact that everyone appeared to be comfortable and at ease with what they were doing.

In the next room there was a massive double bed made of solid iron, to which were attached handcuffs and chains. Whips, riding crops and eye masks hung from the wall. In the corner was a “sex horse” – which is like an old school gym vault – that is used to bend someone over and spank or cane them. This bondage room was occupied by a man wearing a mask and who was chained to the wall. Attached to his penis was a suction device being operated by a woman who was also insulting him. I stood and watched amazed until I saw the device enlarging his penis, which also had a ball baring inserted in it – at that, I could not watch any further.

Other rooms were filled with a couple of women and a large number of men. The women were being encouraged by their partners to take each of the men. I was surprised to see women encouraging their partners to participate.

I wondered around the various sections of the house and was intrigued by what I saw. I had to work the next day, so I only stayed for a few hours before the limousine took me back to my car.

The next day, I reflected on what I had seen. I’m not shy of sex, as you know. And I realised I had not been shocked by the party. To the contrary, I had found this consensual expression of a diverse range of sexual adventure and tastes exciting and interesting in equal measure. I also realised the party was not at all seedy, as I had half expected. In fact, it was more glamorous than even the parties I had attended at the Playboy mansion. Most of the guests were aged between early 20s and late 50s. They were all in great shape. They were very polite. No-one appeared to be affected by alcohol or drugs. In fact, I realised I had enjoyed the experience and looked forward to the next one I could attend.