Just because people get older does not mean they cannot or should not continue to seek or even wish for a super-sexy, hot-bodied 20-something to hanging off their arm like an accessory to their zimmer frame.
Okay, maybe that’s going a tad too far. But it raises a serious question – how big an age gap is a relation ship is too big – 20, 30, 40 years??
This has become a hot topic in the media recently with Ronnie wood becoming a father to twins at the ripe old ageof 68! . How he will cope I dont know, I bet the surpus of money and live in nannies will help!
However, I know it has been an issue for years. And like most issues, there are various perspectives.
For instance, as Isaac Asimov observed in The Sensuous Dirty Old Man– “We must not be taken in by the myth of youth, the unending propaganda to the effect that young men are younger than old men; that they are better looking; that they are slimmer, stronger and more athletic; that they can hold a girl in more romantic fashion and speak more sweetly.”
Let’s consider Hugh Hefner for a minute, the man is a legend with women and proves age is no barrier to sex and relationships, notwithstanding what the media would have us believe.
I have been to the world-famous Playboy mansion on a few occasions and witnessed first
hand that it’s not all shagging and playtime. In fact, it is quite the opposite. I attended Hefner’s 80th Birthday party in the company of a well-known adult video production owner. It gave me a real insight to the life behind the Playboy empire.
I loved the glamour and glitz. And trust me, Hefner’s house, complete with a zoo and a grotto, were stunning; as was the hospitality.
But I must admit, I actually felt sorry for the girls I saw there, and for Hefner himself frankly.The girls were working either as party hostesses and tour-guides of the grounds, or as Playboy bunnies. In fact, they all looked pretty bored. There was no kissing or sexual activity going on. They were virtually accessories.
When Hefner’s birthday cake arrived in front of the 1000 or so guests, no one sang happy birthday. They were all out partying in the pool and at the bar. I recall only 20 or so of us singing happy birthday.
However trust me, he is an exceptional businessman. I spent most my time in his libary looking at 1st editions of playboy and reading about how he built his empire.
This made me realise his life is really a business; and that he uses young, attractive women to promote that business.And that’s all fine. But I did wonder how the girls feel if they do sleep with him, as he is so much older and looks more ready for bed in his dressing gown than some kind of king of the bedroom. So is he with them for love or for money?
Age gap relationships are popular with women who are seeking the security of a man who is both financially secure, as well as loyal to them. On the other, the old man is probably popping pills to achieve an erection, and emptying his bank account to keep his pretty, young partner happy.
And then you have younger men who seek out older women – also known as a “cougars” because they want to be with an experienced women – think Jo-Lo and Madonna for example. I think they look much better for dating younger men, whereas on the other hand older men dating younger women look bloody knackered!
But that’s just my view of course, and there are plenty of alternative views. Just look to Isaac Asimov again, who said – “The fact of the matter is that young men lack skill and experience and are very likely to approach a girl as though she were a sack of wheat. It is the old man – suave, debonair, maturely charming – who knows exactly what to do and how to do it, and is therefore better at it.”
So, let’s just agree to disagree, and say the jury is out on whether old men with younger women looks better than older women with younger men.
Anyway, it’s great to know women can last years longer than men in the bedroom – we can go on having hot sex with younger guys with no problem as we get older. After all, they do say life for a woman begins at 40 – and trust me, they’re not wrong!
Let’s consider the age gap relationship issue a little further.
So what can go wrong in an age gap relationship?
Well, if you are looking to introduce your aged partner to your parents, and they which are younger than your boyfriend or girlfriend good luck, can you imagine their faces they would want to shoot the person for taking advantage their baby boy or girl. No matter how old you are your parents will always look at you as their baby, trust me my 22-year-old son has to remind me he’s 22 still!
Then you have the issue of your partner already have experienced what you have yet to experience. The older the partner the more they have experience of life on and will try to pass on their knowledge to you. This will eventually make you feel less independent and frustrated because you will be living someone else’s life and not you own. You will feel under minded and eventually just want to live for yourself.
Trust can also become an issue, can you imagine a 60-year-old guy letting his 20-year-old girlfriend go out with her girlfriend on the town without getting even the slightest bit jealous?
You only have to head to the ski slopes in Switzerland to witness the men keeping their young european models at bay during their skiing vacation. The fear for an older man dating a younger women must be enormous unless of course their bank balance matches!
Then we have sex which is a big part of the relationship, this will dwindle a lot quicker than with someone your own age. Yes of course it’s not always the honeymoon period but I am damn sure I would prefer more than a 2 week sexual adventure after the wedding. I mean how adventurous is a man at 70 without a need to pop a blue diamond pill such as viagra? The foreplay thought sends images into my mind of him dropping his false teeth into a glass jar on the bedroom side table before going down to do the business he kept them in and lost them in the wrong place well down there..
Of course some age gap relationships do work with a gap such as 30-40 years but how contented and pain-free they are I don’t know. I know for myself if I was 25 dating a 60-year-old I would only have a limited time with a partner before I am organising their funeral and this does nothing for me, in fact the pressure and attractiveness puts me off so much.
In all seriousness I also think it’s selfish for an older man or women to date a partner who is way beyond their years such as say 30-40 years, especially when the younger one is in their 20-30s. It needs to be taken into consideration of how much of a pressure it is for them to deal with, especially with the natural ageing processes such as bed baths, aged care, medical expenses and bills and you would if possible want to have children and then they will be a single parent for most of it. I don’t see how it helps a child to watch a parent wade away before them, trust me I know, my own father died when I was just 18 and he was 49. It’s not something you should plan to put a child through.