Each and everyone one of us has a breaking point, the point when we say enough is enough, the time we have to tell ourselves we can take no more and we put up boundaries to protect ourselves. Toxicity is when someone is causing hurt or damage to our lives and if they are toxic you have to deal with them accordingly. Too many people are willing to chuck constant complaining, gossip, extreme verbal abuse or selfishness out which can cause people to suffer anxiety and depression. You have to decide who is more important, you or them.
All kinds of people can be toxic, work colleagues, friends, lovers and family. Toxic people will suck the life out of you and can be manipulative until you take a stand and stand up for yourself. Many people can be toxic in different ways and regardless of what kind of toxicity they bring to a relationship, they simply have to go. Maybe you have had a friend who drained you of all your time and emotional resources, or one who always wants to share their problems but not hear yours, this happens time and time again.
Sit down and think about the relationships in your life right now. Think about what they bring to your relationship and how you react, maybe you dread their calls, emails or suffer anxiety when you receive a message from them. If this is the case then it’s a sign that you have a toxic relationship and it needs to change for your own sanity. It is not acceptable.
I certainly have suffered a few toxic people in my life and I put up with them for as long as I possibly could, sometimes years. However when I got to the point of walking on eggshells and suffering anxiety I knew it was time for me to deal with the situation head on. Time and time again I would sit crying my eyes out alone trying to work out what I had done wrong until I realised it was them, not me.
I eventually decided to take a stand and say enough is enough and choose to avoid them, I simply took myself out of their firing line. It was not easy but it made my life a lot more less dramatic and helped with my anxiety. Once I did open up about how damaging the relationship was to me I soon realised who had my best interest at heart, and who never.
If someone wants to hurt you and you keep putting up with it, your allowing yourself to be targeted. They want you to be responsible for their issues, you are not responsible, your responsibility is only to yourself, learn to say ‘NO MORE’!
No one is responsible for someone else’s toxicity.
HOW TO RID TOXIC PEOPLE
Toxic people are great manipulators and will do whatever it takes to get attention, they don’t care about your feelings. Once you have made the decision to open up about how you feel and finally say enough is enough your life has already improved. This is the only way to remove a toxic person from your life. Of course not everyone will understand and some people will take sides, let them. The thing to tell yourself is that the toxic person needs to know the truth and not have their behaviour seen as acceptable. This is the only way they will examine their own lives and hopefully change their ways.
They may choose to change and they may not that’s up to them, what is important is that you remove yourself to concentrate and enjoy your own life. We only have one life, its not a trail run!
SET YOUR BOUNDRIES
Boundaries are put in place to protect our sanity, mental health and sometimes physical health. If these boundaries are not respected by others then they are not respecting you. Start making a list of your own boundaries and let people know them, don’t be afraid to tell someone when they have overstepped them either. The toxic person needs to know they have hurt your feelings to the point you are not willing to accept it anymore. Never accept emotional abuse form anyone, don’t let them talk at you, be little you or put you down. They are the ones being immature and not worthy of you. Take a stand.
Let people know you are hurting and you can not take the toxic persons behaviour anymore, if they respect you they will listen and support you.
Toxic people are not likely to walk away without a fight. They will make every effort to push your buttons and get people to take their side. They may get angry and frustrated and become irrational and act like victims. Don’t stand there and defend yourself, be firm and walk away. This will make you a stronger person.
Remember enough is enough.
LEARN TO RECOGNISE TOXIC PEOPLE
Learning how to recognise toxic people is not that hard, if a person makes you feel uncomfortable or unprotected, their toxic. You must learn the signs that a person is toxic before they are allowed into your life as once they are in then they can be very hard to eliminate. If people do not understand then that’s their issue, not yours. You need to watch out for people who negatively affect your other relationships also and invade your space.
The time they take of yours you cannot claim back.
ITS OK TO SAY ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
Toxic people are drawn to trusting, kind and generous people. You may at first feel a bit guilty for being harsh, just remember you are defending yourself, its about you not them. You have to defend yourself for your own sanity. If you value your emotional and mental health then do what it takes to get rid of toxic relationships. Eliminating toxic people from your life can feel like bereavement at first and you will go through a period of hurt and pain. Remain strong and remember why you are doing this, it’s for your own good.
Don’t let negative thoughts slip in and make you feel you need toxic people in your life, we all need relationships, but not all relationships are healthy. Thease can include friends, family and partners. Who ever it is, if they are abusing and hurting you, or someone is allowing you to suffer emotional pain without having your back its time to stand up and say ‘NO MORE’!.
Walk away and surround yourself with people who do hear your pain, stand up for you and support you.
SURROUND YOUSELF WITH POSITIVE
Start surrounding yourself with positive people who bring out the best in you and who make you feel safe and supported. Admit to yourself its OK to be protective of yourself and to put yourself first. You have every right to be happy and not be abused or neglected.
Remember, don’t ever feel bad for making a decision about your own life that upsets other people. You are not responsible for their happiness, you are only responsible for your own. Anyone who wants to live in misery for their own happiness should not be in your life. Enjoy the oppotunity of life, the only one you have and remember for each day lost, its one day not lived.
Happiness starts with you, not your relationships.