The penis is a funny creature, almost going shy as it ages. For some women, it causes frustration when sex starts with a rock solid erection, and then it slowly starts softening leaving us high and dry and full of anxiety. Many women start asking themselves, Am I good enough? Am I still attractive? Why are they no longer able to keep an erection with me?Ladies, rest assured its got nothing negative to do with you, it’s the natural ageing process.

As men get older it’s inevitable that the penis ages with them. The main question I get asked as a sex expert is,   How do I maintain an erection? orHow can I help my partner keep an erection?

Let me explain. It’s very hard to maintain and revive a penis as men age, once the erection has gone its hard to revive, and the firmness changes too. An erection at 50 years of age is typically not as firm as the same guys erection when he was 20. And even the size can change, not so much length, but the circumference. When guys are 50 or 60 years of age, the circumference of their erection may be just a shade smaller than it was when they were young guys. And for some men, they think it is the end of the world, they think it’s a tragedy.  This is why women need to understand the life journey of the penis.

This is when people have to challenge it themselves, they have to ask themselves  “Why is it such a big problem for us that it takes longer to erect? Some men say they no longer feel like a man, some women say they are not satisfied, this is not a penis problem. There are lots of problems surrounding the ageing penis but erections not the problem, it’s what people make of the situation that is the problem.

It’s the same with ejaculation. Ejaculation  hits the opposite side of the wall in their room when a man is 15 years of age. At 50, it’s sort of respectable. It comes out a little bit. When their 80 it just drizzles out, if there is any at all.

As men feel more pressured their penis will go up and down like a yo-yo. As their penis gets older its natural for them not to cum quite so quickly either, and they need more time to reload after every deflation.  At 15 years old they needed about 1.5 seconds to reload, in the 30’s and 40’s it may take 30 minutes. In their 50’s it might take 3-4 hours. When they reach 70 t make take 24 hours.

Preferences also change with age. For some, when they were younger they experimented with lots of different sexual activities. As they get older the opposite happens, they discover new things and stick to 2 or 3 of their favorite ones. Of course stamina also changes, and flexibility. Some have chronic pain, they used to like some positions but can no longer do them, like on their knees.

It’s the natural ageing process and one that us females have to be patient with. As both women and mens bodies change. Lubrication is also a matter to be addressed. The penis needs to be able to manoeuver, and with age women’s natural lubrication goes from being like honey to water. So it gets thinner for women as we age, and it takes longer to generate. People use lubricants not only because they need them, but it makes better sex. And when you’re 25 or 45 or 75, lubricant will always make sex better. People need to start comparing lubrication the same way as they do cereal, because it’s just as natural to use it. Ageing sex and its ability to perform should not be an issue, we should be enjoying sex way into our old age.