We all wish that everything was perfect in our lives but how realistic is this? Afterall what are the benefits of being miserable?  Unfortuantly, we still live our lives hoping to fit in and be accepted when we all know we can not make everyone happy.

It has become a vicious circle to find perfection which we believe will bring us happiness, and once we achieve theses we then embark on finding something else which will bring us happiness. It’s like a merry-go-round. Learning to identify the happiness trap is something we should all be focusing on and not the continuous search of what we think will make us happy.

Happiness Trap. Our lives are lived to a high standard theses days from food, holidays and medical breakthroughs, welfare, education and overall a better class of living, but yet we still get miserable. Television and media regualry bombard us with the perfect bodies and ways to improve our lives which has caused a saggering statistics of people taking antidepressants and people suffering addictions in the search for happiness. 

So why is it difficult to be happy?  Well it has to do with how we think, we are born to survive to fight and defend and do anything not to be broken. This leads to us constantly be looking out for danger. In today’s society it is made much harder to be happy because we are and scared of losing our jobs, rejection, not being able to pay the bills, upsetting loved ones, or any of a million and one other common worries. If we don’t have worries we start thinking we are not normal.  Unfortunately this gives us a false impression of what will make us happy, we seem to think that the more we have the more happy we will be. Then of course once we have this we want something else! 

We all want to be happy. We all enjoy happy feelings, so it’s no surprise that we chase them. However, like all our other feelings, feelings of happiness don’t last. In fact, the harder we pursue pleasurable feelings, the more we are likely to suffer from anxiety and depression

So what is happiness?  The meaning of happiness is a rich, full and meaningful life. When we take action on the things that truly matter deep in our hearts, when we move in directions that we consider valuable and worthy, when we clarify what we stand for in life and act accordingly, then our lives become rich and full and meaningful.

This is not some fleeting feeling — it is a sense of a life well lived. And although life will undoubtedly give us many pleasurable feelings, it will also give us uncomfortable ones, such as sadness, fear and anger.  Of course, happy feelings are quite pleasant, and we should certainly make the most of them. But if we try to have them all the time, we are doomed to failure.

The good news is that, although we can’t avoid such pain, we can learn to handle it much better — to make room for it, rise above it and create a life worth living. My advice on going forward and discovering happiness is to find it from within.  Look around yourself and be grateful for what you have an embrace it. There are people who love you and support you so take your time to identify and appreciate them. Find out what stimulates you in your life and savour it. Start exploring life and learning along the way and remind yourself that happiness starts on the inside, not the outside.

To stop struggling and start living you need to pick up a book from Dr Russ Harris which is an outstanding bookwhihc will leave you feeling happy in many ways. It will definitely put a smile on your face.