I’m the last person to think couples don’t tell each other “porkies” (little white lies) from time to time, especially when the truth is likely to lead to an argument or cause hurt.

And that is how lies often lead to arguments or hurt – because one side thinks they’ve done the right thing in “bending the truth”, whilst the other feels their partner has compromised the trust between them and put their needs before their relationship.

Trust me, there are a number of clues that can help you spot a liar – and I have found most of them. The one below is a right corker and 100% true – so enjoy the read!


I had been living with a partner for nearly 2 years. He accepted that I needed to visit my family in Bristol for the weekend. He said he couldn’t join me because he had to work. No problem. I get to see my family; and he gets a relaxing weekend to himself after a little work, right?

After all, I had been away on trips before without him, so why would this be any different?

Nothing in his behaviour or body language suggested anything out of the ordinary – no arm crossing, sweaty palms, increased heart rate, sky-rocketing blood pressure, ums and ahs, fidgeting, crossing legs or laughing inappropriately – nothing.

And the old saying that you can catch a liar by watching their eyes – looking away or looking down – is a myth because I saw nothing there either.

Anyway, I left on the Friday. I returned on the Sunday to find nothing unusual. There was nothing to suggest my partner had done anything other than relax for the weekend.

The  only thing out of the ordinary was that the house was spotless. However, I took that as  a positive – he wanted me to rest after a long drive.

I headed to the bedroom for my afternoon siesta and casually undressed, in the course of which I dropped my phone and it slid beneath the bed. As I recovered it, I discovered an empty condom wrapper. I was certain it was not ours, infact I knew it was not.

Of course, I wanted answers right there and then. I went to him immediately and demand to know what the hell a used condom wrapper was doing under our bed.

He tried his best to deny it but I wasn’t buying any of the explanations he came up with. Finally, came up with the ultimate excuse – “While you were away I experimented with your dildo up my arse and used a condom to keep it clean!” seriously, I didn’t know whether to remain angry or burst out laughing – after all, I couldn’t take a dildo the size of mine up my arse and I am a former porn star for god’s sake!

I had to make a quick decision. I decided to tell him I believed him – which, of course  I didn’t. Then I developed my plan – after all, as they say – “Revenge is a dish best served cold“.

As evening approached I set out to make the bedroom perfect for us and the activities I had
planned, lit candles, soft music, lubrication, condoms and of course the legendary dildo my partner said he could take up his  arse. Yes I wanted him to prove it to me.

His face was complete horror when I informed  him the thought of him taking anal with it turned me on (of course it never)… but wanting to keep up his lie he knew he could not back out so had to go through with it.

So I started preparing his anus with lubrication before slowly inserting the length of my average 10 inch plastic dildo into his now stretched out butt hole! Trust me the pleasure of watching him have to take it all was fantastic so was listening to him squeal like a lying bastard!  He actually preferred to take butt sex than tell the truth, something only a real deceitful person could do. I even went out the next day and brought him a pack of Pampers and nappy bags before packing my bag and leaving!

Why do people lie?

“People lie for three reasons,” “They lie to hide something from you, to harm you in some way or to hype themselves.”

How to spot a liar:

First off check out how they breath, do their nostrils flare in and out, stress and nerves will cause the nose to twitch, also if they cover their mouth while talking or touching something on their face they are trying to distract you. Then if they start swearing on everyone’s grave and people’s lives, just leave as they will never question swearing on yours.

My advice on liers;

Remove yourself from a lier, because otherwise they will think they can get away with it time and time again. Of course relationships can work after some lies, but when it’s deceit don’t fall for it. Walk away and fast.

Always remember it’s not your fault, so don’t insult them as then your making yourself mad and letting them hurt you more. It’s not so much about how they treat you it’s about what you’re prepared to put up with. Never put up with mental abuse as it is worse than physical abuse. I have been there and worn the t.shirt. No one has to be a victim of deception.

I love the famous saying, “Dont let anyone have free rent in your head, you would never do it in your home”