Is this normal? is that normal? is this not normal? What if I say it’s normal and another says it is not normal? What then, does it mean someone is normal in their sexual desires or not?

The answer to what is normal in a sex life, is what is normal for you!. People need to unhook themselves from the normal thing altogether as it is so subjective and so culturally bound. In our lifetimes we have seen homosexuality, transgender formerly seen as a sickness which people would try to cure, what was there to cure?  Some people’s normal is different to others and they have every right to be their  own normal‘.

I broke normal years ago when I choose to be a single parent and then enter into porn, it maybe not have been other people’s normal, but it suited me. Why? Because it is what I wanted to do and I saw it normal for me to have my own desires. Other people’s views of normal seemed rather vanilla to me back then, I can assure you I never told them I saw them as abnormal, in denial maybe… especially when they said they were happy with their non-existent sex lives.

People used to think oral sex was something only prostitutes done, now it’s something loving couples do. Thirty years from now what else is going to be considered normal?  Kosher sex? Robot sex? We just don’t know. People need to get unhooked from what normalsex really is as it differs from person to person. It’s about whether it works for you or not. 

Does oral sex work for you?  Does it fit with your values?  Does it make you feel good physically?  Does it make you feel close to your partner? It’s a free country and you get to decided what is normal for you, you do not need permission if it is normal or not.

 If people are frightened and scared about their bodies and what they choose to  do with it, then they are not being themselves. If your favorite sex is sitting on top, or using whips and chains, or sex with the light off, sex well dressed, face sitting or anal sex, guess what its normal!

Whats wrong is people are concerned about what others see as normal, there concerned at being seen as a freak, they’re concerned about losing friends. When people become concerned about other people’s judgement, that is NOT normal.

Whats true about sex is that not all sex is about intimacy, and if anyone says sex is all about intimacy then they are lying. The top agenda for sex is to not mess it up! For some people sex is about bonfire night and lots of sparks and for others it’s about thanksgiving and getting as much as you can, the way you want it!