Everyone is interested in sex, not everyone admits it but we all think about it. Sex is stitched into everything that we do, which makes it a very important subject. Therefore there are going to be questions and issues that naturally arise during our lives concerning sex. Sex can not only present problems, it can also solve problems too. Think depression, anxiety and stress, sex relieves tension so helps release stress also, so why are people so afraid to admit its cure? 

So many people think sex is all about the orgasm, the long-lasting erection and healthy full steam sex lives, which it is not. Many people ask me how did I became good at sex? How can they be like me. My reply normally is ‘you don’t need to be like me, not everyone is the same’. You need to do what suits you, not what I do. Plus it would be impossible for everyone to be like me.

People hold so many assumptions of sex, the origin of sexual desires, what drives sexual desire in healthy people and what happens when you don’t have the desire? For some reason people go looking for problems when they don’t desire sex. Could it be that sometimes you are able to love without it being all about sex?

Another assumption is that people should be aroused around the person they love because they find them attractive. Men do not always get erections with the partner they love, it’s just an assumption. Erections don’t always happen when a man is stimulated. The same as orgasms. The assumption is people have orgasms if they are excited and turned on enough. If they don’t have an orgasm then it means they are not being sexually satisfied, another assumption.

The thing is sex is very broad.  Penis-vagina intercourse is considered the gold standard of sexual relations, but sex play is still sex. Some people prefer other activities to intercourse, it does not mean anything is wrong with them. Not everyone wants to admit that they don’t understand sex, some even think it needs to be kept secret because it’s dirty.  Guess what sex is natural and it does not always need to include penetrated sex.

Sex is also not always about intimacy either, it can fall into any category such as fetish, sex play, genital stimulation. To many people are programmed to think that ALL sex is about intimacy, even sex education forces teenagers to believe sex is about making babies and not enjoyment, they are educated about reproduction and not the enjoyment of sex which makes no sense. It definitely will not help them ask questions about their own sexual desires. What is the problem if you choose to be held down, bitten or spanked, or touch gently and softly and teased?

The only issues that should surround sex is why are you having sex, what are you thinking of during sex and are you present or not. It’s when one partner is not playing attention that the communication surrounding sex arises and breaks down. If someone is being sexual with someone, even if they care for that person, even if both partners bodies work perfectly well, if that person is thinking most of the time about shopping or bills, then it’s going to be difficult to enjoy sex. The best part about sex for that person will be when it’s over! If this is how one thinks then there are going to be problems.

The thing is people want to have sex for many reasons, they want to feel lust, youthful, powerful, to feel competent, to escape from the cares of the world and of course to release tension. People have sex for lots of reasons and sometimes they just sex just to feel good.

Sex is as natural as watching TV, reading a newspaper, eating, showing and even breathing. There are so many choices in life with all of theses things and sex is just the same, sex is not just penetrated vagina-penis sex. There are lots of sex besides intercourse and they are all fun.

To many people stress about sex and if they are having it enough. It’s a common idea that you have an issue if you don’t have intercourse when in fact sex is about many other things. So if you don’t have an erection or you don’t orgasm it does not mean you are not having sex. The biggest sex organ we have is our minds and not our genitals. Genitals are just added as an accessories.. and of course reproduction!

Sex is natural, relaxing, kinky and a chance to escape, share love and to be intimate or not. It’s normal to want sex.

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