I bet you’re thinking, “Great-another article about how candlelight and a soppy playlist will help you have the most amazing sweet sex ever, well it’s not.

But hold on. If you think sophisticated sex is beyond cheesy, you’re probably have the wrong impression-and you could be denying yourself some super hot sex! 

Hot sex does not need to involve rose petals or frilly lingerie, it’s simply about having an emotional connection with your partner, and its doesn’t have to be soppy. Connected sex actually makes the experience more intense for both of you and much more hotter..Do I have your attention now?


There are few reasons why you may not be having as much classy sex as you deserve. It’s become the normal model for people to think that sex is supposed to be like porn, with the rise of mainstream porn available. Of Course it would be a great dream to have porn star sex every time, but let me tell you it’s not sustainable…I know I am an ex Porn Star.

Porn star sex is on the screen, and not sustainable in everyday life. In fact even as a porn star I got bored with the mechanical actions of on-screen sex. Of course I loved my job, but being an actress never meant I had no emotions off screen. If porn depicted loving couples having perfect sex in which both parties are equally concerned with pleasing each other then of course I would say so, but it doesn’t. The majority of porn movies show women more often than not pleasing the men than pleasing themselves, and many people buy into this hype.

Many women are convinced they should be like the model on-screen, so they try wild, man-pleasing moves rather than paying attention to their own satisfaction and taking the time to find out what they like. A little play around with positions and having fun it’s great but not everyone can perform acrobatics. Having crazy fun sex essentially can turn into a theatre act, which hinders your chance to connect. I have to admit even since my retirement in 2002 I have on times gone out of my way to impress men by playing my alter ego “Billie Britt” for them. Of course it was not a long-term relationship for me on theses occasions, and it was also very tiring, and messy!

Porn isn’t the only reason couples theses days aren’t passion heavy in bed, couples get so comfortable with one another that they take their sex life for granted and stop putting in the effort to romance each other.. The result is they end up having boring, going through the motion sex rather than using sex as a way to connect. In some cases it may be that the women are afraid to ask their partner for more romantic sex, and vise-versa.


Whatever the reason is for you not having romantic sex, it has to change, and not just for your benefit.  Although men may not come straight out and say it, they also crave sophisticated and emotional sex because it makes them feel connected to their partner-and yes, they also want that closeness. Most men agree wild sex is great, but feeling connected on a deep level, emotional level is better. Another reason you should add more emotional sex to your bedroom rotation is the biological urge. People crave passion, and when you pretend you don’t, you shut down a large piece of yourself. Everyone deserves to be treated in an admiring way.


Dont panic- having sophisticated sex doesn’t mean you have to place rose petals all over your bed sheets before you do it, In Fact most experts agree that waiting to bring the romance until you get to bed is actually what can make sex seem lame. Well instigating passion with props can feel contrived, it’s less about the props and more about the attitude around them. Have a sense of adventure and fun and don’t let the minor hiccups affect your mood. True sensual sexy time happens organically, as a result of feeling connected to each other- so focus on the bond outside of the bedroom first.  Simple things can do the trick such as having breakfast together, calling each other during the day, or sending a sex text in the afternoon. Building up your connection throughout the day means that you’ll feel even closer when you reconnect later on in bed.

Talking to each other about sex is another great way to feel close. But keep it light and fun: reminisce about hot moments you’ve shared in the past and how turned on it makes you feel. Reminding each other of how good you are together will make you crave more closeness. In the bedroom, focus on  your partner. Many Couples succumb to the “Let’s do it so I can check on my ‘Instagram” mentality. Bad idea! You have to be fully present to have the best sex. Start by slowly taking off each others clothes- this is a great way to get right in the moment. Also, don’t just kiss -kiss like you mean it, and do it often. Again this sort of advice may seem basic, but the truth is smooching is often one the first thing to go when couples fall in a sexual rut-and it should not be as it can make the sex more sensual. Finally, use eye contact–it’s non-negotiable for sex you’ll want to play back in your mind at another time.

Inspired yet? Good now go and have some fun and turn all that you’ve learnt into some super-sexy, super sophisticated action!


When you’re in the middle of an innocent conversation, stop mid-sentence and tell him how sexy you think he is. The unexpected comment, and the fact you just couldn’t hold back will make him feel amazing, and turn him on.


Once you’ve started to get physical keep your underwear on for as long as you both can bear it. The anticipation will make you both want each other so much more.


Gently suck on his upper lip, then on  his lower one, then go in for the killer deep kiss. A little tongue teasing at first will make the smooches last longer and more intense.

AND REMEMBER….Leave the movie screen sex to the professionals!

Written by Lianne Young