There is a very important difference between the two. Arousal is physiological, it goes on in the body. Arousal happens when nipples get erect, the penis starts twitching, then it becomes fully erect, the vagina starts pulsing and becoming moist and wet. Arousal also happens when you get flushed in the face and when your fingers start to explore.  This makes Arousal a physical process. Desire is an emotional and psychological and mental process. Desire is how you feel. Partly, it’s how you feel about what your body is doing, but it’s how you actually feel, what you think, what you imagine, what you’re visualising, what you hunger for, what you yearn for. That’s Desire,making it very different to Arousal. The biggest sex organ we have is out brain and senses, fuelling desire.

Many are under the assumption that the two of them come together, and that if you have the appropriate arrangement, then of course they can go together. But in real life, it’s not quite that simple. We frequently find ourselves having desire, but our body just doesn’t have the level of arousal that we want it to have.  Many times people think about sex and even start  masturbating,  but then give up when they just don’t get that aroused. This can leave many frustrated as they don’t understand that there mind may be in it, but there bodies are saying otherwise. Trust me if a penis does not want to rise, it’s not going too. It’s the same with a vagina, although women do have the advantage of lubrication, and not having to stand and deliver!

It’s important to understand that the two are different, especially with couples as people need to understand that they don’t always go together.It’s possible to feel desire and your body is not ready to act on the desire. Even if you’re ready to have intercourse, one of you may not be ready. Sometimes our bodies get ready for sexual activity, but we are not up to it mentally. It’s exactly like someone touching you sexually and stimulating you in all the right places, you start to tingle and arousal is happening, but you suddenly get distracted by something and suddenly you have gone of sex. It may be a work project, the children crying, a noise or simply something pops into your head that can turn the mind off sex. You simply cant expect to desire sex that you can no longer enjoy because you mind has gone somewhere else.

I have always counted myself fortuante for being a women, at least being female we can particpate in sex with our partners, and help out when they are aroused and mentally prepared for sex. However, attention females I have known of men who are able to be aroused but not mentally present….

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