The meaning of life, or the answer to the question “What is the meaning of life?”, means living or existence in general. Many people question  “Why am I here?”, “What is life all about?

Life itself is not supposed to be a straight line, neither is it a journey of mountains, how boring that would be.  I wonder how many of you have looked back and thought “I wish I had changed this” or “If I could have my time again, I would do this way”.

When growing up we are given lots of pressure, pressure to finish school, get a job, get married, have a family and to be comfortable and financially secure by a certain age! Pressure, pressure, pressure. Yes, it’s OK if you travel through life this way, and its equally important to understand that the world is not going to condemn you if you don’t.  

Many people focus on what went wrong and not right in their lives. Did you go to college, then university, then find a career with a six figure pay check? The problem starts when we do things because we are told this is expected of us, people lay responsibilities on us to achieve what they see as success. We find a job to pay bills, we have the bills because we get told we are supposed to secure or own a home. We follow steps followed by more steps thinking that we are fulfilling some checklist of life, and one day we wake up depressed, question our choices and become all stressed out, we feel pressured and we start to panic.

This is how people ruin their lives.

You ruin your life by the people you choose. There is no need to fast track relationships, Why do we need to find somebody to share our lives with instead of becoming somebody? Love comes from desire, not the need to share, the need to feel loved, the need to be given attention. Is this going to keep you inspired through life if you rely on needs instead of wants?

The ideal relationship is wanting someone to inspire you, the intimacy that is rare, rather than right there. Yes, you don’t want to be alone, but why settle for something you don’t desire just for the sake of being in a relationship. Trust me, I eat alone, spend time alone, travel alone  and I am still inspired by who I am. I also continue these habits when in a relationship. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin and at peace with yourself.

Once you love yourself you will find out your own beliefs, create your own dreams, you will grow, and then when you meet someone who has that special feeling of connection you are able to give yourself because you know who you are. The one thing I urge is for you to wait, wait for the right person and do not settle for just anyone. Remember it’s also not going to fall into your lap, you do need to make things happen. That special person does not have a crystal ball giving them directions to find you.  You need to hunt and fight for it, and you will be rewarded.

In life there is heartache, confusion, ups and down moods, sickness and hurt. Some may stick with you and you may well become your own victim. Don’t let these moments define you. If you allow negative events in your life to stick, you will see things around you as negative and miss out on some wonderful opportunities.

Don’t convince yourself you are not good enough, you are. Don’t blame a past relationship for stopping you finding love, they were just one person out of around 7 billion in the world. This is a cycle that you need to learn to break early on in life. If you don’t get over past relationships you can not develop new ones on solid foundations and you will keep comparing relationships.

You also ruin your life when you compare yourself to others. Social media is a nightmare for this but does not have to be. The amount of followers you have should not matter. It does not decrease or increase your value. The amount of money in your bank does not define you, or give you compassion, intelligence or happiness. People who have twice as much wealth do not have twice as much bliss. Don’t get caught up by following what your friends and partners like, it ruins you. It creates a need to be wanted and often pushes people away.

Don’t desensitize yourself. We are all afraid to feel to deeply, to say too much and to let people know how much they mean to us. Sometimes it’s too late. Caring is not a crazy attribute, expressing how your feel does not make you vulnerable, and it is something you should not be ashamed of. It is beautiful to be loved, cared for and wanted. Let people know if they inspire you, help people you have inspired, you will not lose out by supporting another. Open yourself up, do not harden up to the world and be proud of who you are.

You will ruin your life tolerating things. You Should be excited to live. When we settle for anything less we will always have an empty spot. You need to find your passions and follow it. You could be the next Steve Jobs or Beethoven but working as a cleaner because it pays the bills. Do not let this happen to you, it will ruin your life. Life and work, and life and love, are not irrespective of one another. They are closely linked. We have to work hard to do great work, we have to work hard to find great love. We have to work hard to follow our passion. Only then will you not be ruining your life.